i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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