I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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