remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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