The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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