I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
