Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
