K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
