The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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