True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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