hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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