he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
