Me too!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
