I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms