something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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