Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
