I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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