I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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