i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
