do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
me + whiskey = a bad person
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
