Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
