Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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