Three words: puerto rican gang bang
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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