Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
