physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
my poor anus
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
