i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
