Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
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i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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