She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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