How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize