Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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