Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
