Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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