Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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