I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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