I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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