escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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