I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
