I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
