i think my tv is drunk
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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