so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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