Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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