My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
