Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
