is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
