i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You took a bar mat shot.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize