So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
