You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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