Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i barfeds in our rink
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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