is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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