her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
