i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
