big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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