tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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