Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We talked him into tasing himself.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
