I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
