PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
